Letters to Ms. Lavendel

Although this project is centered on the Black people of my food story, particularly Black women, there is one white woman who had such a beautiful impact on my upbringing that I just can’t not talk about her. She was a family friend who I’d known since my earliest memories. In fact it’s hard for me to imagine my childhood without her. My parents even named one of my siblings after her. For the sake of her privacy I’ll be calling her Ms. Lavendel throughout this gallery and website. It’s a name I chose from the German word for lavender, because lavender is such a soothing herb and she was of German ancestry. And soothing and loving Ms. Lavendel was.

Ms. Lavendel, was one of the artists who worked in my dad’s animation studio with several other young people in the 90s/00s, but she stood out for some reason and became a huge part of our family to the point that the holidays weren’t complete without her. My dad didn’t even allow relatives over for the holidays, but Ms. Lavendel was allowed over either the day before or right after.

Ms. Lavendel would gift us with crafting kits and handmade cards on our birthdays, babysit us when my parents went on dates, and would play the flute for our family when she came to visit which was every month or so. At one point my mom initiated a monthly tea party, and Ms. Lavendel would bring over special teas for us to try and we’d do research on the theme to discuss during the tea time. All this to say, she was a huge part of my life, and although I haven’t talked to or seen her in years, she’s someone I think about everyday.

Ms. Lavendel was the optime, to little Maya, of what a woman should be: Delicately engaging, generous, multi-talented, graceful, and kind.

I wanted so badly to be like her as a kid, and not having a strong sense of racial differences, was often frustrated with the fact that I could never fully embody everything about her. I’d never have her thick, yet wispy red curls, nor her freckled cream skin. I’d never be as calm and still as her. As I write this my foot is tapping with energy because my body often needs to move in order to stay focused.

But Ms. Lavendel was never a person who made comparisons, she was in many ways a female version of Mr. Rogers. She loved me completely as who I was.

The following letters exchanged between us were the last times I had contact with Ms. Lavendel. During my culinary school years when my relationship with my parents was freshly crumbled, Ms. Lavendel was the one adult I’d known since my childhood that I could talk to and share with. Her words were food for my late-teen angsty soul, and I’m forever indebted to her.

Illustrations by Mark Stansberry II for Seeds & Receipts.

7:18am

October 6th, 2012

Dear Maya,

Hello, and a belated happy birthday wish to you. I hope that you had a wonderful day, yesterday. Your mother sent me your e-mail address so that I might send you a direct greeting.

I have missed all of you. I hear that you are taking college courses. How exciting! What are you studying, and what do you think of your classes so far? I would love to hear all about it.

Happy birthday, again, Maya, and a very happy year ahead! I hope to hear from you soon!

Ms. Lavendel

9:37am

Hi Ms Lavendel!!

I'm so happy to hear from you!! My birthdays never truly feel complete without your presence and this was such a surprise!

I can't believe I'm 19 now, my last teen age, but it's also pretty exciting.

Yes, I am going to college for a degree in culinary arts (Kingsborough Community College), but before I start that major in the winter semester I'm in the Hospitality department basically getting liberal arts credits which is a requirement for the culinary arts major. Nonetheless it's all pretty fun and interesting, and I really feel myself growing and stretching in a lot of aspects. My favorite professors thus far are in my English and Political Science classes. I feel like by the time this semester ends my writing will have improved tremendously and I'll have an even more well rounded view of life.

Also on the side of school I'm now working at the Central Park Zoo in a cafe. The work environment and my coworkers are amazing, plus I like that I'm getting some experience in the field of foods even if it's not exactly a 5 stars sort of place. And that's most of what I've been up to lately.

It'll be great to communicate with you again and I looking forward to hearing from you!

Much love,

Maya

12:06pm

Dear Maya

How lovely it is to hear from you, and to learn about your exciting plans. I am very happy for you, and I know you will have a fine career. You are a diligent worker, you find joy in learning new things, and you have a kind heart. All of these qualities will help you to realize your dreams.

It sounds like you are quite busy, but, sometimes, if you have a moment or two, I would like hear more about your classes, your job at the cafe, what you love about the culinary arts, or anything else you might like to talk about. Happy Birthday, again, Maya, and blessings, always.

Ms. Lavendel

November 20th, 2012

5:47pm

Hi Ms. Lavendel,

I'm so excited that you're getting back into your craft, its such an inspiration to me! With work and school its been kind of hard to put in time for my crocheting and drawing, but recently I've begun to find loop holes of time and I'm looking to organize some new sketches and designs for new toys and accessories that I'm anxious to post.

I wish I could be there to hear you play the flute, it makes me feel so calm and wonderful. Sometimes I'll be listening to classical music on the radio and if I hear a song you've played it gets me in such a good mood! I don't think I've heard of the songs you mentioned learning recently but I look forward to finding them on YouTube.

On another note, I'm no longer working at the zoo (they laid me off after the hurricane) so now I'm working at the kitchen in my school, or mostly in the office in the kitchen at my school, which I like a lot better since it's more flexible to my class schedule. Since I work mostly in the office of the kitchen I'm looking forward to the Winter/Spring semester when I start my culinary classes and I'll be getting more actual time working with food.

Also I'm currently working on a huge research paper for my english class, the topic of my thesis has to answer the question "What will our country be like 50 years from now?" It has to be at least 6 pages long along with a one page story illustrating my thesis, and then I have to give a presentation demonstrating the story I wrote. So that's one of the main thing on my mind these days.

The coming holidays is one of the others, and I actually just finished helping one of the chefs package pies that are distributed to the school and our direct staff. At this very moment I have a delicious smelling apple crumb pie wrapped up in a box by my side and I can't wait to dive into it! Also, speaking of pies, I wish I could remember where we put your pumpkin pie recipe. That recipe always seems to mysteriously disappear once Thanksgiving rolls around . . . Although I can remember the silk tofu and pureed pumpkin, I like to follow it exactly the way you make it so it comes out delicious! In the event that I don't find it in time for Thursday I'm going to make the recipe you gave me for the maple syrup nuts, which I thought about last week when Moyna and I went to The Brooklyn Renegrade Holiday Fair here in Williamsburg. A woman had been selling fresh maple syrup from Vermont, and she even gave us little maple syrup candies which were awesome! I think I might have to get some maple syrup that's a little more in my price range though. :)

I hope you and your family have an awesome Thanksgiving and I'll write more soon!

Love, Maya

9:59pm

Hi, Maya!

Thank-you so much for letter, and for your kind words. I'm glad that you like your new job, and it sounds like you have plenty to keep you busy in school. I would like to hear your thoughts, when you have completed your paper, about what you feel our country will be like in 50 years. That is a fascinating question!

Here is the pumpkin pie recipe:

1/2 cup organic sugar

1/4 cup dark brown sugar

14.3 ounces silken tofu (This usually comes in a shelf stable paper box, either refrigerated or unrefrigerated on a shelf. It can sometimes also packaged in a plastic container, like regular tofu, in the refrigerated section of the food market.)

15 ounces canned pumpkin

1/3 cup canola oil

1/2 teaspoon ground ginger

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon salt

pie crust, either store bought or homemade

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and line a pie dish with unbaked dough.

2. Combine all filling ingredients in a blender or food processor until smooth.

3. Pour filling into pie crust and bake until crust is golden and the color of the filling has darkened. (I think this takes 25 to 35 minutes.

For some reason, I don't have this information written down. Just keep checking it until it is ready!)

I hope will enjoy the pie or the maple almonds, and all of the other things you will be fixing this Thanksgiving! Have a great Thanksgiving, and, again, thank-you for the nice letter!

Love, Ms. Lavendel

March 17th, 2013

Hi Ms. Lavendel,

I was wondering what that email was, I kept trying to click on the link but my phone kept saying it was a bad link and wouldn't let me go through! I'm glad it didn't now.

Anyways, I'm sorry I haven't emailed you in so very long, I'm always thinking about you despite being so busy though. How have you, Milkshake, and your dad been lately?

I'm taking six classes this semester and it's a little crazy trying to stay on top of everything, in fact I think this will be the last semester I take so many classes since it doesn't leave much room for my other creative outlets (crocheting, drawing, etc.). My Culinary Arts major requires students to take liberal arts courses as well as courses required for the major, so I'm trying to get classes like English, Math and Health out of the way so I can spend the majority of my semesters in the kitchen.

However, although things are hectic I am enjoying the culinary classes I did manage to squeeze in this semester. Each day of my Culinary 2 class we focus on one main ingredient, like the first week it was potatoes, and the past two weeks it was pasta, grains and legumes. For the pasta class everyone had a chance to make fresh pasta, and my team made Pad Thai. (We used a little too much tamarind sauce in the Pad Thai so it came out kind of tangy, but other than that it tasted good!)

Anyways, I hope you're enjoying your weekend and hope to hear from you soon!

With love,

Maya

P.S. Did I ever show you the essay I wrote for my English 1 final last semester? It was about genetically engineered foods and I got an A for it! I wanted to know if you'd like to read it. <3

April 17th, 2013

9:04pm

Dear Maya,

Thank-you for the letter you sent me. I very much enjoyed reading it, and I am sorry that I have not written back to you sooner.

How are you?

It sounds like you have been learning a lot of wonderful things in school. The Culinary 2 class you describe sounds particularly intriguing. If you have time to share a couple of your favorite preparation techniques from this course, I would enjoy hearing about them. Also, of course, I would love to read your essay about genetically engineered foods. I am so proud that you achieved an A!

In response to your question, Mr. Fields and I are doing well, and so is Milkshake. Milkshake gets along especially well with Midnight, and the two of them can often be seen grooming each other, sleeping side by side, or working together to get attention when it is time to eat. Earlier this evening, Milkshake was entertaining himself by playing with a toy sardine.

How had the weather been in New York? Here, we have had many mild, pleasant days, and have taken the opportunity to do some outdoor activities. I have mowed the lawn once so far, and have participated in trash pickups in my area. Also, today, after work, I took about a half an hour to walk along a nature trail. It was so peaceful and quiet that I could clearly hear the buzzing of the bumble bees, and, at one point, a butterfly flitted about my face. I saw squirrels, as well, and all kinds of songbirds, including a nuthatch, a goldfinch, chickadees, mourning doves, and tufted titmice.

I would love to hear how your studies are going, or any other news you would like to share. Take good care, Maya, and please, as always, tell your parents and all of your brothers and sisters that I am thinking of them, too.

Ms. Lavendel